The art of genuine connection
Meet Larissa Wright, a woman who manages to juggle four kids, multiple businesses, and still finds time to be everyone's biggest cheerleader in the business community. (And she recently won an award to prove it!)
Larissa opens up about how she manages it all without losing her shit. She shares honest truths about learning to say no, dealing with difficult relationships, and why sometimes you need to put yourself first.
If you've ever wondered how to build genuine connections in business (without the networking ick), or how to balance community work with actually running your business, this episode is packed with wisdom from someone who's mastered the art of bringing people together.
Number of fucks given in this episode: 6
Mentioned in this episode:
Larissa's business: The Wholistic Wellness Hub
Larissa’s other business: On The Beat Music Academy
Facebook group: Kick-Ass Parents Of Kids With Special Needs
Book: No Limits: Blow the CAP Off Your Capacity by John C. Maxwell
Transcript
Christine: Welcome to the Fuck Around, and find out a podcast for finding your way through owning your own business. I'm Chris.
Rah: I'm Rah.
Emily: And I'm Emily.
Christine: Ooh. And here we are. It's a Monday. And we're here at the Bella Vista Podcast studio in Sydney, and I've had a lovely start to my morning. I've um. I've gone and had coffee and breakfast with my sister and eased in to the working week.
Yeah. Nice. Yes. I just
sat there and forgot what day of the week was and then realized I had shit I had to be at and I was like, oh, fuck. I was rushing. Least undressed. Yeah. I was rushing to get my work done that I said in the accountability group I would get done. And our guest who could probably attest to it, I was typing furiously in the middle of our Zoom where we were meant to provide updates.
Didn't
Larissa: quite see that, but yeah. Good. Well, okay, so it got, it
got through to the keeper, so that's alright. I did confess, I did confess to Chris, our head coach mindset or mentor that you were
Christine: doing your homework whilst on
the Zoom. I confessed to her on a call last week. She goes, oh, we all do that. I was like, oh, thank God.
Okay. I feel better about, yes, we're all, that's, we're
Christine: all guilty of, yes, there's a meeting at 10 o'clock. I better do, uh, work. I was session before and
that's what threw me off this morning at 9 35 or nine 30 meeting. I was like, I was not ready. Yeah. And then she messaged me late last night being like, can we shift it?
And I was like, oh, sure. So I was still in bed at nine 30 in my paja, like Jomo. That joy of missing out. Oh yeah. I was like, oh, everyone's canceling outside. I always do that too when I make plans in advance and then I get there and I.
Christine: Yes. Mm-hmm. I do this. Yes. Absolutely. So, um, yes, we've kind of alluded to the fact that we've got a guest with us.
Welcome,
Christine: welcome. So, absolutely. So we have got with us, uh, Larissa from, uh, holistic Wellness Hub. So welcome Larissa.
Larissa: Yeah, thank you. Really excited to be here.
Christine: Well, we're excited to have you here with us today. Yeah. Yes. Tell us a bit about you. Yes. Tell us
Emily: all the things.
Christine: Yes. Tell us, tell us what do wanna tell us?
Say
Emily: that I'm like, yeah.
Joins romantic date night. Exactly. Tell us what you're up to with your 90 day goals. Based on our when? 10,
Larissa: well, actually with my 90 day goals, um. Today. Today I did find that, um, two of my things got canceled as well. So I had this jam packed day where I had no capacity, you know, to fit anything else in, and then everything started falling.
So. Did not get anything really done this morning. So I've had a very quiet morning, which is kind of nice because I do live a rather crazy kind of existence. Um, but four kids, one of them has just moved out of home, which I'm not allowed. Congratulations. I'm not allowed to tell anyone
i'll in massive trouble. Um, yeah. One of them is online schooling. Um, for me and for him. I dunno how I do it, but No, I dunno how you do it either. I tried that in Covid. Yeah. You know, it didn't work
Christine: for me.
Larissa: It's driving me mental. Um, and then that escalated quickly, sorry. And then two of them are at school, so four.
Kids, three girls and one boy. So he's the odd one out. A husband who's at home, not literally, but um, yeah, he's around most of the time. Um, and I'm a business owner own, uh, the holistic wellness hub, which is all about. Massage, relaxation. Um, what else? Looking after yourself. Um, mind, body, spirit, that kind of whole body kind of holistic healing.
So very interested in that. We're just talking about, um, how I'm starting a bit of manual, uh, lymphatic drainage and it seems like a lot of people need. That kind of thing in their life. Mm-hmm. So I'm kind of excited about everyone I talk to about please drain my lips. Like, yes, you can, uh, practice on me.
So that
Emily: sounded really dirty. Sorry. Drain my lips. That's why I giggled. I was
Larissa: like, yes. Those kind of phone calls. I'm like, no, I don't do that. You do get those phone calls, don't you? Sometimes. Yeah. I was like, no, I don't do, I'm not kind.
Um, so funny. I was actually talking to my chiropractor about, um, massages the other day and he said that he wanted to try some of the, like the places and he's, and I was like, yeah, I've tried a few. And he's like, oh, do you know of them do? I was like, um, I'm a woman. We never get offered. It's like a very big discrimination.
The some places they
Larissa: do offer.
Emily: Really?
Larissa: Yeah. Wow. We do have one near to a few places. Anyway. I thought it was for males
only. No. Well, at least they're not discriminating.
Larissa: No, that's right.
We're just not circles clearly. Clearly. I imagine not know you got those kind of phone calls. That's right. Yeah. I know. I fell off my chair when she first told me as Well,
Larissa: you have to put on if I'm.
Yeah, that's nice. And oftentimes I put, I only massage women, although there are a few men. I do massage, but, um, takes to keep it. Never read that
reading. Reading is difficult. You just move locations. Am I saying that you've set up some shops? I'm
Larissa: over in dur, so yeah, my, um, I can't stop moving. It's moving like
this is, I don't sit still very well. Um,
Larissa: oh wait,
do you have a ADHD too?
Larissa: No. To, I'm sure there's like little bits of a, lots of different things in me.
It's just the pure excitement
of, you know, sitting in a studio and also. We wiggle. Can't stop
Larissa: whenever I'm standing. I just can't stop moving.
Um, it makes me feel better ile my legs. And the last time I looked at myself recorded here, all I could see was my boobs. I was like, people warn me about this because I don't realize it's making my boobs jiggle.
Larissa: I can't. What just, what did you just ask? You just
Christine: moved? Oh, yeah. Into Kelly's space.
Larissa: I'm over in dur. Uh, and probably we'll build it a lot more there. I also do a little bit of work over in Thoney. I I work with a physio over there. Um, and then, and I do do a lot of, um, more kind in the, um, like sort of more age care kind of.
Hmm.
Well, one of our favorite things about you is your incredible ability to constantly support other women in business. Yes. You're the supportive human being I think I have ever come across. And you did win the Incredible Community Spirit Award recently at the Ous Street Awards from women. Yes, I did.
Thank you. So deserved. Very deserved. More than anyone ever. Yep. Um.
It's just natural. She just wake up like this.
Larissa: Um. I just like being around people, I think, um, when I was younger. Um, so a little bit of background. My dad is actually a, um, well he, he's retired now, but he was an Anglican minister. So within the Anglican church. Yeah. So he actually would to me and my brother, um, he would say to us, like, when we'd started a new church, he'd kind of say.
I hated it. So, but he kind of was quite like, he's authoritative, never like nasty or anything, but he's quite authoritative in his manner. So you kind of did what you were told in our family. Yeah. And so you're of
when you're a 78 baby, like where you're Yes. Yeah. You do as you, what you parents ask you to do.
Larissa: Exactly. And I never kind of stepped out of line in that, you know, in that kind of way. So I was kind of forced to. And I ne I didn't dislike it, but it wasn't in my comfort zone. I was kind of the kid that got told, uh, during school time what she never speaks enough. And you know, that kind of being quite shy, like I'll be achiever in
Christine: the classroom, you know,
Larissa: quietly arrogant.
That's, I love that. I, I got that one in my debating, um, oh my God. Because I should do debating it. Yeah, Larissa, you are quietly arrogant and I was like,
Emily: that's so cute. Honestly, the best kind of arrogant to be is the quietly arrogant, but also there's power in listening. Yeah, power in. Just taking it all in.
Take it all in. Yeah.
Larissa: My eldest daughter's a bit like that, but um, yeah, just gives me the kind of cold shoulder every so often, which is a little bit sad. Teenagers and
honest.
Larissa: Yeah. Just. From a young age just was sort of made to go and talk to people and that sort of thing. And just like being around people always done like, um, things within like church and community and stuff like that. So when you're kind of pushed into it and, um, it tends to often be in church situations that people don't necessarily step up.
And when you're a.
So I did a lot of community stuff and just started to enjoy being around people and talking to them and getting to know them and, and then probably about seven, eight years ago, so my age now, um, I did a, a course, um. Now I have to remember it. First steps to success. And part of that is just learning how to, um, go out and talk to people, you know, it's all for business and just knowing how to reach people and connect with them and edification and all that kind of thing.
So did some, you know, formal training around it and.
M at the time. So how to get, you know, different people and different personalities, all different and there's so many, you know, different ways and characteristics that different people have. Yeah. And then can I keep going? Please keep going. Absolutely. So, um, and then probably I think it
for, and, um. Being a teacher for a long time and then hated that, and so went into, yeah, I loved it. But then when I went back as a teacher after having kids, I absolutely was like, I can't handle this. They, they actually put me on my son's class. Oh. Oh. I wonder that that
Christine: was quite the right thing to do. I don't think it was,
Larissa: but, and I was like, after that day, I was like, I don't.
So he was so naughty for me. Yeah. And he said, I just don't wanna share you. Um, and he can get that too. Yeah. I'm
really surprised they did that. Yeah, they did that.
Larissa: And I don't think that, I think they sort of thought, oh, you know, I'm pretty easygoing. It won't really matter. But I end up sending him to like an another.
Yeah. Yeah. Because he mucked up so much for me.
But yeah, I left the teaching profession. I've done a little bit of tutoring since, but, um, since then, um. I had no work. I was kind of like, what am I gonna do? And I ended up running a networking group within the Hills, which was called Miba, which is Moms in business. And they ended up, um, folding, I think it was 2021 after the first kind of lockdown.
But, um, we kind, yeah, there a lot of like. Stuff going on in the background, which I'll tell you about another day. Um, but we so
Emily: tuned for the tea. Yeah.
Larissa: Um, but it just real, that stepped me out my comfort zone, but also just got me connecting locally more with, uh, you know, other businesses and other women.
And we had, I think the most at our meeting we had was about 50 women. So it. That was one. It was one of the biggest groups and just loved it and met a lot of our local women. And then when women with Attitude kind of, we decided to start that. This is 2021. 'cause then we went into like the next lockdown.
Yep. So we went online pretty much for all our meetings, but we just. When we had all those, that second round of lockdowns, yeah, pretty much we did like four or five meetings in person and then.
You know, the Hills Women with Altitude continued. We ran it and you know, here we're how many years later? Like five or
six
Larissa: or something quickly. Yeah. Yeah. So, and that it's a great
chapter too.
Larissa: Yeah. We love it. I think I like it more than when I was doing M because when I was doing Miba. I was very much on my own.
Yeah. And being on my own. I don't like the pressure that there is to, you've got a team. I'm the one that has to, even if you're getting paid for it and you know, I was, um, but I didn't like that feeling of having to be the person that is always getting people along. And it's a lot of pressure because I think with any kind of networking group, it's gotta be about.
Growth. Yes, but also networking. So each time we wanna be people in, don't be networking with the.
Yeah, so it's lovely to do it with other people who are wanting to connect with other people too. So the team is beautiful and then I get to be around amazing other women. Well, I mean, this is true. We can't deny this. It's not already obvious. That's how we met true
women with altitude. Yeah, that's really awesome.
People. Yeah, through it too.
Larissa: Yeah. Yeah.
Christine: How do you balance all the, the community, um, and networking work with business, and how do you not get
exhausted by it? You're always in a messenger, WhatsApp chat, hearing things around, checking in on people.
Larissa: That's a couple of questions. Yeah. Tell me how spoon, I'm gonna talk.
Start with, start with Chris, and then, yeah, then. Oh God. Okay. Part two, we'll come. So balance, I think it was about balance. Balance. How do you balance? I don't have a great balance. That said, I, I've had to learn, um, I'm a big fan of, um, what's his name? Maxwell. Please go and read his stuff or, because Googling him right now, he's so good.
I love, he's a, or
Larissa: like, he's amazing. So I love his stuff. And one of his books is on, um, knowing your capacity. Oh, yeah. To read that, I had to learn that kind of thing. Like knowing how far I can take things. You know, I like to be involved in everything and I'm kind of like flashy lights and uh, there's one thing happening over here.
I'd really like to be involved in that. And then someone needs help over here and I wanna be part of that. But I've had to kind of. I realize that I have a lot of other stuff going on, you know, family, business I'm studying at the moment. So there's a lot of other things, you know, it's kind of crazy. So I've had to work out what my capacity is and to at times say no.
If it's within my capacity and it really sits within my heart as something that I can do or supporting other people, yep. Um, then I'll do it. Have had times in when I. I was younger and I had like young kids and everything. We used to have things like meal rosters at church. Right. And it's meant to be like a nice thing.
Someone has a baby or they're sick or whatever, and you make them a meal. I'd get to the point where sometimes I'd be making like three or four meals for someone, right? And I'd drop it off and then I'd realize, ah, had no food. You know, I've gone and done that and it's, it's putting myself out there, help someone else.
It's not intentionally, but it does end up kind of stuffing us up as a family. So it has been a big learning. Yeah. I did have a bit of an experience a few years ago where, uh, it,
um. That's a story for another day as well, because that's a, a big one. And, and it involves the police and stuff like that. Not in a bad way. Yeah. Yeah. But you know, it's, um, it's a story that really just shaped me looking into my own health, how I'm looking after myself and not saying yes to every single, single thing.
And sometimes that's really, really hard. But it's so
Christine: important though, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah.
Larissa: And I think when I am pushing myself. Really far, I can tell with the way that my body reacts as well. Like I'll start not looking after my health and eating, or I'll start getting run down. I tend to get things like cold sores, which are really horrible, but I know that means that I have pushed my level way, way far, and I can't push beyond it, and I need to step back and start.
You know, taking care of myself. Um, so that said,
put the oxygen mask on you before you do your kids. Yeah, yeah,
Larissa: exactly. That said, I don't feel that balance is entirely possible. Like we just had the last weekend and we pretty much worked all weekend. You know, Aaron and I, and. My daughter's like, what are we doing today?
I feel, how are we gonna work? You're helping us. So, but I'll, she's got gonna have a new room because her sister moved out. So I will be buying all the IKEA stuff with her and
stuff. So that's also the nature of small business, right? Like when we run our own businesses, Chris and I have basically come off two weeks straight.
Yes, we're dead. Um, but it's like you just. Have to just, and I think
Larissa: the balance then is as well going, okay, I've done that for two weeks. My family needs me for a little bit. Yeah. I'm gonna spend that bit of extra time. Yeah. Unfortunately, with my son, he feels like he needs me all the time. Yeah. But um, yeah, just they've gotta know kind of boundaries as well,
and that you're human and you can't do everything.
I think this is something Chris says in our accountability calls, you can have everything just not all at the same time. Yeah.
Larissa: And that's a hard lesson though, isn't it? Mm. Because like, we want it all right now. I think that's where having, I've got a very clear now picture of where I wanna be in five years time.
Yes. And what that involves. So my five year goals and plans, uh, you are very solid, so.
You doing multiple studies at the moment or just, uh, no,
Larissa: I'm studying, um, manual lymphatic drainage. But that's just a, that's like a small course. It's actually gonna be more than a small course. Like it's eight weeks. Yep. But it's, it's way more like when you do it in depth. But I'm doing naturopathy That's right.
As well. So that's my five year goal. Right. Naturopathy. But we call it.
I'm.
So that's in words. I understand. Thank you. Yeah, thanks for the lesson. As a kid who did not go to university, thank you.
Larissa: I did go to university, but I'm not specifically using any of it at the moment. That's normal. Yeah. I think a lot
of people do that. Or you study something and then you go. I fucking hate this.
Christine: And that's the way things go. Now you live and away, you know, there's, on the statistics say that, you know, we'll have eight to, we'll work in eight to nine industries across our lifetime now. Yeah. Um, and that's even including, you know, my generation because, you know, I am slightly older than this room. Um, but, and they reinforce that in high school for my son.
I'm glad they did that now, because
they never really did it when I was in high school. No. Yeah,
Christine: no. And they, and they should. I think, you know, and not to get too far off, um, topic, but you know, the fact is that, you know, when you're doing the HSC it, it, and deciding what you wanna do, it really is only till you're 30.
That first 10 to 12 years or less of your life, or Yeah. Or less, absolutely. But really anything beyond. That first 10 years, you know, if you go to uni for four to six years and then you want to use that degree and then change your life at 30, unless you're one of those
people that are so adamant that this is what I wanna do.
Oh, know many of them though, my little sister's one. Okay. She was adamant from the get go that she wanted to be a doctor. Yep. And she literally was the highest. She's a hugely high achieving human being.
Missed out on getting the marks to get directly into medicine by like a 0.0, like a literal point. And so she went and did a full blown psychology degree with honors.
Larissa: Wow.
And then transferred into medicine. So she could have gone down the path and become a psychiatrist and have the prescribing ability and all that, but I was never really what she wants.
So now she's. She a registrar, so she's a doctor, full blown graduated and everything, and is now working on her specialization wants. She's also.
Wow. Three more, like I said, achiever, three tears being high achiever. I see how she goes with the baby front. I'm with my two cats. Oh yeah. Yeah. I imagine having her to be compared to all the time. It's delightful. And she's comparison is more, I'm gonna say she's the successful one of the, but she's adamant from day one that she wanted to do that and she's never wave.
It's very, I think, you know, absolutely
Christine: unusual. Fantastic. If you do and that kind of, um. Career choice of course, requires such a be committed long period of education. So you'd wanna hold onto that for long as, yeah, they
vocation. Absolutely. One of my good friends recently got made redundant from a second job.
And she was like, we both were raised in a very similar manner. You go to uni, you have your career, you're successful when you are in a high paying corporate job. She got to that level and realized how much she hated it. Yeah. And how miserable she was and being made redundant. And then she went for a little bit during that and just did some basic admin for her and, uh, air conditioning.
Company because a friend of hers owned it. She was like, I had more fun there than I had in any of my corporate career. Yeah, that means a fucking great job. And she's like, but she also, I mean like, I, not to sound crass, but she didn't care about it as much, but the, the fact that there wasn't so much pressure, and I think she, she said literally like two days ago, to me, if you told me that I would be 32, and having been major redundant for my job and having all my career trajectory.
The knees and enjoying more, enjoying it more. Working in the conditioning company, I would've laughed in your face. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And I'm like, well, that's the thing, right? You just, you hit points like that in your life where you gotta go. Like you said, you know, fuck, I just don't wanna do this anymore. I just don't wanna do it.
I can't do it. And then you work out where is your love and your passion. And I think it comes back to
Larissa: your nervous system as well, and what you handle.
Yeah, Chris and my nervous system is currently fried. Fucking, we're fried
Christine: and it's very interesting how things come out. So Emily is raging and I cry and I'm not a crier. Mm-hmm. But my, my ang my stress and work and overwhelm and everything just comes out with I'm, I think it's 'cause I'm blatantly bloody tired, but it comes out in tears.
Yeah. You know, my
initial reactions rage. My next step is. Rules it. So instead of feeling ragey, I feel like I'm gonna vomit, and then I just wanna sleep through everything and my head and sand. Oh,
Christine: it's great. Like the adult that I am.
You're not the only one. So you know solidarity,
Rah: I know. Yes, yes.
But yeah, I've always admired the fact that you can.
Balance? Well from the outside it looks like balance. Seeing all of it. Yeah. You're the calmest person I think I've ever known. Oh yeah. Percent. Which oil know
Christine: you like the duck in the pond, aren't you crazy? I have
Larissa: had days of like when I was younger, like. And it was hard getting the kids to school, just getting in the car and just sitting and crying.
So I do kind of, I relate to, you know, that, that feeling of just a massive overwhelm. Overwhelm, yeah, it might. And we don't know what people are going through, right. Just 'cause we see what's on the outside. So true. Um, I have had a.
Calming things down and had a massive breakthrough in a relationship with one of my kids. And I didn't realize how much that was holding me back and making me just feel absolutely, uh, crazy, you know? And, and I was just really holding onto it. And when I let go of that and was able to, and things repaired.
It's changed everything. Like I, I can drive a car without feeling stressed out, gonna the inner West. Wow. Yeah. Which I'd normally do, you know, driving, I hate parking, all that kind thing. Driving in that bloody tunnel, let go the tunnel. I've let go of all of that. And that is from one thing holding onto one thing for like six years, you know?
And, um, yeah, it's amazing. Yeah. God, that would be a nice idea. I'm sitting here like, you gotta work out what you're logging onto, right? Yeah. But I think I knew it. This relationship was just not in a good place. And, and yeah, this child, I just couldn't, I didn't feel like I could relate to her and things changed and she was like hugging me and sleeping in my bed and all sorts of things, and yeah,
it.
Christine: God, yes. I had 36 hours of the Sun of Air being really angry at me last week. And I, it did make me wanna cry about it 'cause we have a beautiful relationship and um, he would say, love you to me. And I would every day like he's 18. Love your mum constantly. And the feelings of him being angry at me. Now, the reason he was angry is because I just parented him and put him up on some, put him up on a choice.
He didn't like it. He did not like it. You know, I wasn't his ally. It was a teachable moment. It, it was and hard. 18-year-old male brain. Doesn't know what to do with that, um, kind of thing. So, and that was just a short amount of time, you
Rah: know? Yeah, yeah.
Christine: So, you know, to be struggling for years, it would've been, you know, yeah.
To find something that would help break through, if that's the right term. Yeah. Um, to use. Well,
Larissa: I, I worked with, uh.
I dunno what she did, or, well, I do know what she did, which, correct. It was amazing. But, um, just, I think her approach is very clear and direct and but gentle at the same time. And she just gave me a lot of ideas and it all happened within a week or two. Wow. Released and it was amazing. So, you know, there is hope if you're holding onto something or, yep.
Yes.
Christine: That's so cool. So cool.
Had benefits you've seen. Um.
Because you're a wizard as well.
Larissa: Say that.
What was that? You're a wizard as well. Oh, I'm a wizard. You're a wizard, Harry. I was gonna say the whole thing. Do it with the accent, but I can't do it. You're a wizard, Harry. Um, it was really bad English accent. But yeah, there's a lot of merging of people together and I've seen you connect people together and creating fostered relationships.
What is, does anything stick out?
Larissa: Yeah, I mean, I've seen like a lot of people. Come together or, you know, I've referred a lot of people and that kind of thing. You just kind of come to do it really naturally. Right? Um, one thing that happened really earlier on after we'd been doing Niva for a little while, um, I actually had someone else connect me with a person right.
Actually it was with two other people we met for coffee. And we're like, okay, how, you know, how can we actually connect? And this other person did emotionally intelligent parenting stuff. And then this other lady worked over at uh, the EE lounge, which is over Smithfield kind of way. And um, so we're like, okay, well we could start this together and that together.
And then I.
And that kind of didn't all work out. But the other person that I'd connected with, the emotionally intelligent parent, we ended up Are you referring to Stephanie? I'm, we love Stephanie. Yeah. Legend. I ended up starting a group with her. So, uh, we have a group for, um, kick ass parents of kids with special needs.
Oh.
Not sure if we're allowed to call it special needs anymore. Yeah, it's kind of additional needs parents, right? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Initially when we started it, we thought we'll get together and we'll have a speaker and all this kind of thing. And as it turned out, I dunno if it's just step and I didn't quite have the sort of, uh, impetus or energy or whatever to run something like that and make it decided to change and have.
Once, usually it's once a month or once every couple a month. It just is whatever's in our capacity to organize. But we have about 800 women in the Facebook group and men, uh, in the Facebook group. And, um, we meet up sort of sporadically up at Castle Hill and it's a really beautiful space to connect with other parents.
Um.
Needs parent, but she is her background. She specializes in emotional intelligence. Exactly. And she's got her speech,
pathology background, speech
Larissa: pathology. So that's her background. She's literally
a too,
Larissa: yeah. She can like support amazing parents. Right. Um. But I think it's more like the first meeting we had.
I just remember at first one or two, and some of the parents were like literally crying, you know, they were sharing their stories. It was just in a, a chance to sort of be heard and, um, connect with other parents. And sometimes we laugh and talk about the craziness because. You have like times with a child who's, uh, on the spectrum or you know, high functioning or whatever, and you think, this is literally my life.
Like if I look back and I go, the things that my kids have done or said to me, it's when you have kids kind of fit into the, it's. It's completely different. And if I sort of sit and go, oh my goodness, that actually happened. And I really kind of come back to this whole idea that, oh yes, that's actually what it's like because, you know, I studied, uh, high functioning autism and so on when I was at uni, did my master's degree, um.
Just mind and around other parents and space and
I, through school and and I this parent and. Came over me and we were both kind of like just chatting and she's like, oh, actually I saw what you're doing and I'm going through the same thing. And you're like, what? There's someone else who does, you know
Christine: all, it's almost nice to know that you're not alone in something validating.
It's very validating
Emily: for
Larissa: That's how feel out there
alone.
Larissa: Yeah. So it's, it's all different parents. Um. We have some parents whose kids have a DHD, some, uh, who have autism, some who have all different things. Yep. And we just meet up, um, at Castle Hill once every month or possibly two, or whenever we remember to kind of, you know, plug things in and uh, it's just really beautiful.
So. That's probably been the, the main thing. Um, but there's obviously like, there, there's many women who come along to events that, um, we run with women with attitude and just, you know, they really feel blessed and yeah, they're not on their own and can, you know, grow in Yeah. A spear with other women.
Amazing.
Sit back on as much as I can. And I had, like, I was pulled out. That was one of the things that Catherine said to me, um, last year. And I've had to really reflect on what things I actually have to do and then what things I do that Joy. Yeah. And then what things I don't need to do and sort of. Step back on those things and because we've got a team, it's nice that you could distribute the workload.
Yeah. And the girls are so amazing and work to strengths,
Christine: right? Yeah. You know, that's the best thing that you can do. Yeah, yeah.
Larissa: Yeah. And that those girls are just beautiful. It's lovely to be around women who have the same heart and passion for connecting with others and just. You know, concern for other people and that
Christine: sort of thing.
And I think having a team too, like I'm, I'm sure like you've, you've mentioned earlier that, you know, you work out your capacity and what you can take on, but I'm sure you know you're human. Mm. And I'm sure there are days where you, you're in the group, you're in the space with them, and there are days that it's like the last place you want to be.
And having a team, um, would be great because at least other people there to share the load.
Larissa: Yeah. Yeah. I, we bounce off each other. Yeah. I did have like a moment on Thursday, just had a, a bad morning and um, and I messaged Steph, I'm sure I messaged and said, I'm probably not gonna come tomorrow, because I was just like, I can't face anyone.
Yeah. And that would've been my first time. I think I've missed an event, you know? Um, but then someone messaged me like half an hour later and said, oh, I'm coming. It was a friend. And she said, I'm coming and bringing someone. I'm like, okay, I'm there. So I had to go now, you know, pull it together
Christine: and yeah,
Larissa: I needed that.
Like I do get energy being with other people. Yeah. But at the same time, I like to be in smaller groups, so massive groups me out a little bit
Bad head Headspace. I don't wanna be around other people, but sometimes I do think it's the best thing for me to be because I'll, it'll get me outta my s just, yeah. As long as it's positive. Yeah, yeah,
Christine: yeah. It's a fine line. Go. That's right. A nice, um, way to distract yourself from the issue or the overwhelm or whatever it is.
Um, and then focus on the other. Yes. If it's positive and yeah.
Larissa: Hal l Rod. The Miracle Morning. You guys all know that. Yeah. So he has this thing about, um, I don't, so I'm, yeah, it's really cool. Um, I used to listen to his podcast a lot. Um, he has this thing where you have a five minutes. So, because the five minute rule, you can feel down and feel yucky and gross for five minutes and then pull yourself out.
Ah, so
that's kind of like the Mel Robbins five second theory. Yeah.
Larissa: But five seconds
or five second rule. Yeah. Five minutes to in my sorrow would be a bit manageable.
Larissa: Sometimes you're gonna want a bit longer, right? Yeah. But you keep letting yourself. Fall down. If I keep going, then I'd be like a few days and then it just gets worse.
So,
Emily: yeah.
Yeah. I've seen this book at the airport bookshops. Yeah. Okay. Try and
try, shake that off. I.
Larissa: Or you've read something on Facebook or, or something that I struggle to like, then you just gotta like let go or, or realize not worth it. It's not worth the energy.
Christine: No, no. Deep breath and move on.
Larissa: That's where my up
and that's where I. But's work in progress. Work in progress. We'll get there. I mean,
Christine: that's why I've had the reminder tattooed to my wrist.
Yeah. Remind me to just let
them, them, let them. Have you shown Larissa, does she know that you've got your tat now before the book made it trendy?
Christine: Yes, that's very true. Absolutely. Let them, yes, shout out to Lloyd. Lloyd. Thank you very much, studio.
Many can tell
a warn.
Larissa: Okay. Yes.
Rah: Um, how do you manage the.
Situations within any of the places where you're talking to other women. I know you and I have spoken about sometimes before where it can get a bit bitchy and you're like, oh, this is really not making it fun anymore. Um, how do you handle either as a collective sort of difficult sort of moment or with individual people that are.
Larissa: I don't feel that, uh, we tend to have toxic people that fall into not on the whole, so you, you'll get the occasional person, right. Um, but I remember reading or hearing somewhere that, you know, you're the sum of the five people that are around you, right? So if you are someone who. Um, you know, sticks up for what you believe in, has integrity, loyal, all those kind of characteristics that I'd really like to say that, you know, are part of me.
Then, um, I don't tend to have those kind of people on the whole, um, around. And if I do, if it something or someone who is particularly toxic, um. With groups like Women with Attitude or like mva, those kind of people do tend to kind of move away or, you know, they'll, they'll often change their kind of focus when they're around you, or I've not really seen.
Behavior. Um, I know we have talked, talked about like specific people, but those people have kind of left. I do know sort of natural attrition of sorts, natural kind of movement away. Um, people who come in who are fairly self-serving, like there, there's been a few and on the whole, um, like they have moved away, but I found that've created.
Particularly, they tend to create stories in their head about certain situations, and you're like, we're on earth like this one person. I was just like, how on earth did you get from there? There.
But yeah, she just kind of moved away. I was very gentle. I possibly was not, um, stand, I possibly didn't stand up for myself enough in that situation. I kind of sat back and I was gentle about it at the time, knowing what I'm like now. I ran into, um, someone recently, I've run into a few people that I've bit.
I was like, hi, hello, you know, whatever. And you know, they just passed and it was fine. I feel like I've kind of grown as an emotionally intelligent person. I'd like to think I have anyway. Um, but. Yeah, I don't know how they, these people create stories in their head, but one thing I'm definitely working on and um, our mentor has suggested is really important, is this whole idea of not creating triangles.
So if you have an issue with someone. Um, and I can feel that I'm a little bit guilty of, you know, going and then talking to someone else about it rather than approaching that person. It's also a natural thing. It's natural you someone as a sound You do. And, um, I'm learning and, uh, this, this happened just recently.
I'm learning to. Um, have this whole idea of respect, Trump's harmony. There's an actual book called that and, uh, a mentor put me onto it because I was quite worried, oh, how am I gonna approach this person, you know, blah, blah, blah. And, um, she said, you know, respect Trump's harmony. Read the book so well, I listened to it and it was very, very helpful because I realized I.
You know, actually speaking up for myself or the situation. Um, and then these stories are created. It gets bigger than Ben Hurt, and then we have an issue, whereas I could have nipped it in the butt like five steps ago. Yeah. And yeah, or I've just wanted to kick the piece and then it's, you know, byproduct of
how.
So, which is hysterical because if you were to meet, I mean me, obviously, my brother and my sister, all three of us don't like doing that at all. Yeah. So my mother hates it when we call out on stuff. Just is like, don't talk about it. You're also the result of what Rallying against. Yes.
Larissa: Yeah, I think my, my parents, my dad is quite authoritarian, and then my mom is not so much, so I think it's probably more that I take more after her.
And I don't like confrontation and I don't like conflict, but. When you do speak up for something. So the reason that I asked our mentor about this was because I was having an issue with someone else and we are both working on something together and I felt, oh, nothing's getting done and this and that.
And we just needed to, I needed to come in and go, Hey, what are our roles? What are we both doing? Sit down and work it out rather than you, oh, I'm happening. Yeah, what's gonna hap you know, and yeah. Communication. So, um, I don't dunno if that answers your, it does question at all. No, it does. It's because, I mean,
the world in you, which you play in, you naturally have a whole range of people with different personalities.
So there is a little bit of politics that I guess comes into play in some sense. Not in horrible definition of. People's
business.
The concept of concept, um, you know, wanna looking after people, but we also need to look after our business. Yes. Yeah. And that, it makes it tricky. It makes it a delicate line to walk on.
Larissa: Yes. I think I have a reasonably good idea of different personalities as well, so knowing how to talk to people. Some people, while they're gonna come across as that kind of more aggressive personality, you know, personality, that's not necessarily who they're, it's just the way they present.
In a certain way. And if you can learn to talk to people in that way, I think that really, really helps. So it's
also navigating people's emotions, right? You never know how someone might react in an emotional way as well, and
Larissa: people
are fun. The human evolution of our emotional intelligence also interesting.
Yeah. Absolutely. You do a great job of it. Yeah. Thank you. Do
Christine: And plus we've got some great resources that'll be in the show notes. Yeah. We'll yeah. Rah, keep on crack. I've got tabs open everywhere of all the books and things. Absolutely. I like that
respect. Before, what was respectful
Larissa: Respect Trump's, how true is that?
It's not Donald Trump.
Christine: Yeah. I'm wondering if that might be something to help me with. Uh, I'll send you the link. I think so too. Absolutely.
We have difficult emails, right? So that'll help. Yes,
Christine: we do. So, Larissa? Mm. It's a day off. Yep. And you've got nowhere to be. Nobody needs you. The world is your no children. No children calling mom.
Um, describe your perfect day off.
Larissa: I don't at the moment get many of them. Mm. I, I actually am running a retreat this weekend, so, but that's me running it. So, um, part of it will be me being able to be relaxed, but also I'm running it as. But I think it would involve the beach. Yeah. I do like going to the beach.
I find that there's, uh, it's very, very grounding. Yes, it's like an earthing kind of perspective to the beach. But I also used to really, really love this place in, um. I think it was up in Relle, somewhere like that. Um, called about life. I dunno if you've ever heard of it. Yeah, I love It's a place. It was but it went, I used to catering through them.
I used to, yeah, we used to get catering at an old
Christine: form of work and I'd go shop. I loved mooching in about life at Rose. Relle was so good. They have Relle
Larissa: and La Cove. I'd probably like Lane Cove slightly better. Um, just. Situation of it. Yep. But, um, I love just going there. It's like a whole food cafe. It doesn't exist anymore, which is really sad.
Daily. I didn't know it didn't exist anymore, I reckon. Yeah. Up at, in Queensland, you know, Brisbane, there's places like that. Just a really nice to just sit. I would sit for hours and I probably just read ay. Afternoon. Yeah. Just nice, not just gonna scroll on my phone or do something dumb like that. Yep. And just kind of, you know, enjoy, just relaxing and eating well and, and head off to the beach, so.
Sounds
Christine: good. Sounds awesome.
Larissa: Sounds very chill. Yeah, I love it.
Christine: I've decided I need to put Hurley in the car and go and take him to the beach so we can both go. Love it. He loves the beach. He doesn't like the car, but he likes the beach, so. Mm-hmm.
And everyone at the beach appreciates dogs. Yeah, they do.
Yeah. Yeah.
Christine: I need to go and do that. That sounds like an awesome day. Yeah. I'm a bit
Larissa: boring. It's nothing really. That's boring. I know, Don. No, it's not boring whatsoever.
Christine: I think especially. When days off are incredibly rare, um, somebody always wants us for something. Yeah. Um, so I don't think, uh, you know, what you described is boring.
I had an afternoon off on, on Saturday and I watched tv. Mm-hmm. To some people boring. But there is actually a lot of benefits to just Yeah. To zone out going zone out. And go and have a sloughy day or just sit somewhere and read a book, um, that doesn't require your brain to think too much is awesome.
Awesome. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you.
Thank you for having, we've had you on our wishlist for, well, since the beginning. Yeah.
Christine: We, we certainly have.
So where can people find you?
Hub. Yes. Tell us where people find you.
Larissa: So I am on my website. Uh, yes, a lot. And then Facebook is probably my social media place of choice just because I know how to use it best. And you read it all the time anyway. I'm on Instagram a fair bit. Um, but yeah, that's probably the main. Spaces. No. Sounds good.
And I know you hinted at Aaron before, we didn't really get a chance to talk about him, but husband Aaron Yeah. Has a music school. Yeah. Do you wanna give a little shout out?
Larissa: I would love to. Yeah. So we own, uh, a music school called On the Beat Music Academy, which is in Seven Hills. It's a great space. We do, um.
Classes as well. It's mainly one-on-one. Pretty much all instruments that you could think of learning. We also do, uh, academic tutoring. I do a little bit of tutoring myself, uh, group classes more for sort of selective schools, uh, but I do a bit of one-on-one and academic tutoring there as well. So we'll
put the link, those places.
So I think we, so I think that's
Christine: it for today's episode, really. So again, thanks Larissa. Thank you for having me joining us. It's been a
Larissa: great chap.
Christine: Listen, and thank you to the Bella Vista podcast studio.
Larissa: Thanks, Bella. Yeah.
Christine: Alright, and thank you boys. Absolute Lynn, thank you very much for listening.
