12: The VA Advocate

Today we're joined by Rosie Shilo from Virtually Yours.

Rosie's been running her virtual assistant empire for two fucking decades, and we talk about social media turning everything on its head and mental health in the digital hellscape. We also cover off finding your 'why' when you just want to shout 'why the fuck am I doing this?', and dealing with dickheads in the professional world. And Rosie's got some no-bullshit advice on learning from others and setting boundaries, and she shares her secrets to not just surviving, but thriving in business for the long haul.

Number of fucks given in this episode: 13

Links mentioned in this episode:

• Rosie Shilo's website

• Rosie's business, Virtually Yours

Episode transcript

Emily: Welcome to the Fuck Around and Find Out podcast. We are your hosts, Emily, Rah, and Christine. We're three women who have built and run our own businesses and are here to shoot the shit on everything about women in business and running your own business.

Rah: Rah, say hello! Say hello. Hi. Um, so hi everyone. It's Ra.

I am a digital marketing and systems gal, and I'm feeling really great cause my hair's just been recently recolored back to its natural purple. So it's a great way. Love it. Yes. And Hey Chris, how you doing?

Christine: Look

Rah: Ra, I'm

Christine: awesome. Thank you very much. And the sun is shining, it's not windy, the trees aren't falling down in my local area like they were all over the weekend.

I too have a fresh colour job. Uh, lots of red streets, I haven't had red for a long time. Um, But I said, way, I am Christine Longworth. I am one half of Juniper Road with the lovely Emily Grover. We are operational and shared support for small to medium businesses and having an absolutely fantastic time doing so.

It's fabulous. And I'm not going to bother introducing myself because that was what she

Emily: said pretty much. It just covers that up nicely. Yeah. Um, and we are joined today by the ever fabulous. It's Rosie from Virtually Yours. Welcome. Welcome. Thank you.

Rosie: Thank you for having

Emily: me. Yay! We're very excited to have you on here.

We were just gas bagging about our love for Harry Potter and all the Potterheads out there. Um, well Rosie, tell us about yourself.

Rosie: Um, so, well, business wise, um, I run Virtually Yours, which is a online business community and training hub for Aussie virtual assistants. Um, I've just celebrated 20 years of that.

Oh my God. Woo hoo! That is so cool. Awesome. What a milestone. Yeah, that, that kind of snuck up on me a little bit. Yeah, I think the middle years there felt like 50 years, but then suddenly it just kind of, it just hits you. It's crazy. And as you can imagine, it's changed a lot over that time. It is changed.

Some things are so consistent and then other things have just revolved so, so much. Um, and yeah, so I, um, um, two, two, uh, young lasses, um, who are both home and well today, thank you, winter weather. But yeah, no, that's, that's, yeah, my jam is, uh, is working in the virtual assistant industry and, and doing as much advocacy and support for Aussie VAs as I can.

I was actually

Emily: thinking about like, obviously we knew we were interviewing you today, as I was thinking about it, cause you've been doing this for such a long time. Like it would have been such a different landscape. In the VA world, like when you first started compared to what it did now, like I would imagine there would have been a huge COVID effect.

on this area as well. But what was it like when you first started?

Rosie: Oh, it was so different. You, you didn't have social media. So the whole thing was completely different. So you would have to create to have, uh, my first forum for the community was, um, like a, you know, attached to the website, HTML. Type forum, um, where people had to log into the website.

Yeah, the chat. It was like, actually, no, I used the Yahoo forums back then. Um, the first, yeah, the directory and everything was all HTML code and then used Yahoo forums. And, um, so you would get like a daily summary. of, uh, conversations and all that to your email inbox. It was just very, very different. But at that time, we just didn't know it any other way.

One of my favorite, favorite Facebook, you know, how you get memories each day for the year before every year I get. So when did Facebook started? Probably what? 15 years ago. It feels like, yeah, I think

Emily: it was like 2007. Cause I feel like it came in just as I'm showing my age right now, finished high school.

Oh gosh, I can't

Rosie: believe you're 30.

Emily: Son was

Christine: born, so yeah, you're right, 2007.

Rosie: Yeah, my first, yeah, mine was born 2010, so go away Em. Um, yeah, so it's not even that old, but there's this memory post that comes up where I'm like, I can't believe people are trying to use Facebook for business. It's just not the place for it

Christine: because it was our site and I'm like get

Rosie: away.

I don't want to see this stuff on here. And of course we didn't have any other platforms at all. And now look at it, it's completely different. So the way that we communicate with our audience, the way that we market things, the online, excuse me, online courses, every single product, pretty much that we use, all of those apps, they didn't exist at the start.

Emily: God, it wouldn't be the whole landscape change.

Rosie: And some of it I love, and some of it, you know, not so much.

Emily: What's the not so much? Because I know there's a lot of things I don't love, but I'd be curious what, what's the not so much?

Rosie: I think it's, it's, you know, um, with social media, sometimes it's better the devil you know is why we sort of stick with it.

Um, it's so toxic. But it is the space where you can connect most quickly with people. And you can hopefully, you know, I've set up my Instagram, for example, to have a pretty solid positive vibe feed. Um, and you've got to work at that. Facebook is almost impossible to do that. It just doesn't care what you want to say and what you don't want to say.

And it just throws stuff up at you that can be really frustrating and really. Triggering for a lot of people. So I think it's really very unhealthy, even though it is extremely helpful to business. And so I'm always sitting in the middle going, I wish this wasn't how it worked, but it works, but I think the cost of it is too high.

Mental health wise.

Emily: Yeah, I think like I spent the morning with actually with my main client and we've had a lot of issues with the pages that I manage for them around racism and really inappropriate stuff happening and especially on some of their paid ads. And they are hard because they translate obviously everywhere that the ad goes and it sets a really big reputational issue for the business itself.

Um, and it's just like, it's also deciding when's the right time to intervene and, you know, that kind of how you crisis management that piece of work and, but it, and I, we did have the conversation about like, are these ads running on LinkedIn as well? And yes, they are, but the, the type of responses we don't, is so different on the LinkedIn than you ever get on Facebook.

And it's the, it's that, you know, piece of that's always, you have to have it, but fuck, it's just so, it's just such a interesting landscape. And the policing

Rosie: is not on our side, you know, it is, it is almost impossible to get things that are trolls removed. It is really, really hard. I've, I've reported so many comments and stuff like that on social media, on my, on my content, on within groups that I'm within.

And you get this instant response from Facebook going, we've looked at it and it doesn't breach our rules or whatever it is. And it's like, wow. Your rules must be really, really pathetic because this is not how normal people behave in society. Yeah. Yet you're, and this is clearly people who are trying to distress other people.

These are clearly bots in many cases. Um, and these are people who are sitting behind, you know, a screen and using that to protect themselves and you're advocating for that. That's how I see, you know, some of these social media platforms. They just don't take any responsibility. I'm massive on freedom of speech.

But I also believe that, you know, there's putting your beliefs out there and then there's also just bullying. It's very, very different. Being a jerk. Yep. Yeah. Oh, that's right. We've already worked out what we can and can't say because of the title of your podcast. I can be as dark as you talk about how much of a cocky I am.

Oh yeah, yeah. We can't help that.

Emily: We can't help that, Fox. We hit our personal best with Fox in the last episode we did.

Rosie: Oh, can we work on that? Can we work on that? Fuck,

Emily: fuck, fuck.

Rosie: We do a rap song. Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck. I'm pretty sure

Christine: I've seen a movie with that song. Halfway already. And we do count

Rah: all instances.

So, yeah, fuckity fuck counts as two fucks.

Christine: Excellent. I like to know the rules.

Rah: Yeah. So, yeah,

Rosie: so that's what I think. I think that, you know, The industry and all online business industries has changed hugely, but it's very dangerous in the way it's changed. And now, of course, you've got AI there and people can't tell the difference between what's true and what's

Christine: not.

No, not, and it's true when it's across the board, just it, you know, like on your social platforms, whether you're in a business space or a personal space. And it's like, what is true? I remember asking somebody about something and it's like, no, it's just a made up thing, but it's very, it's very misleading.

Yeah.

Rah: Yeah. And I think you probably come across this too, actually all three of you probably come across this. The thing that I'm coming up against a lot now is people coming to me, not understanding what is actually fake and what's worth actually worrying about. So all the DMs saying your business account is fucked and you're going to be banned.

And I was like, yeah, Mate, it's fake as, but the stress that people put themselves in. But they're

Emily: also tailored to look real. Like, you know, you've got people that, especially some of the older generations that aren't as tech savvy, they will be trying to do this stuff themselves and get that and freak out.

Yeah. And

Rah: even the people who are tech savvy, because the language that's being used scares them because it's their business.

Rosie: Yeah. No fair. I think one of the things people need to really look at just first up when they've got stuff like that, cause there's a lot of it's in inboxes. Email inboxes is checking who sent this stuff because it's, it can be, my favorite is just to check to see the email address.

If I've got a spammy looking email, because I love the crap email addresses that they use and they don't even try, don't even try with those. But the other really great tip, um, with email inboxes in particular, if you're being sent an email and you're not really sure, is look at the way the letter A is written.

So you've got your normal A is, um, like you would see, uh, like with the little line at the top of the A, so you know how you have a fancy looking A, as opposed, so if the email address is like that, it's usually a normal one, but they copy it and they swap out one of those for a one that, you know, you would learn in primary school.

Yeah, and so, um, and you can really, it's really hard to notice the difference because our eye just sees an A, we don't notice that it's a different A, so that's a really good one to see. But when it's in your, your social media inbox, um, yeah, it's good to have a look at their actual page and see. What it is.

Don't click on any links, but look at that profile page and go, okay, what is this for most of the time? I love my natural innate response is I will not be told so You've got to prove to me who you are for me to all the listening to you. So I'm automatically protected in that way But a lot of other people will be told, and they want to follow the rules, and they want to do the right thing, and they'll fall for that stuff.

I love that they will not be told.

Emily: Yeah, be like Rosie.

Rosie: They will

Christine: not be told. How many times do you like, get a phone call, like, you know, say it's like, from the bank or whatnot, and we ring you about something, and they want you to tell them who you are, and it's like, Well, you rang me, clearly you know who I am, you know, I don't need to tell you who I am kind of stuff.

It's, it's amazing, isn't it?

Rosie: I had, I had a bank do that and they said to confirm, um, I said, well, you know, you can, if, if you've got something you, you can tell me, you need to send me an email and they'll like, well, we can't confirm that it's the right email. I'm just like, what's the phone number any different?

Like how, how is any of this proving anything anywhere? I'm going to assume that you are not the right person. Have a great day. Goodbye. Because they wanted me to provide more information. And I just went, no, I really don't have time for this. And. I think they actually were my bank. But I didn't want to do it.

So, um, and the problem is that it is risky and I'm not going to take the risk.

Christine: No, it's not worth it. Not worth it at all. To me, there's too many horror stories, um, out there. Um, and it happens too often. You know, with the, you know, keeping on, oh it does, it does.

Rosie: The other thing I think with social media, you guys would definitely encounter this, where your, your clients.

peers, uh, lose access to their own social media pages and they don't have a backup admin account. So you need to have a best friend or your, your husband or wife or whatever it is, who is also an admin on your page. So when you lose access to your own page, you can still log back in through them and then they can give you access back again.

So you might. It might have nothing to do with your page, but if your personal, so say on Facebook, if your personal page is hacked, you can no longer get into it. You can't get into your business account either, your business page. Because you don't exist anymore. So you have to have somebody else adminning alongside you.

Not just editor, adminning alongside you on your business page. So that somebody can get in and prove who you are. Otherwise, good luck telling Facebook who you are. If you're a scammer, they don't care. But if you're legit and it's your page, then you're gonna have to jump through hoops like you've never seen before.

Emily: I also think too, it's also knowing how your pages are set up. Because, you know, doing what we all do is important. I've set up pages for new clients that haven't been my client now in, in a long time, but I still have full access to their page because I can't get them to take, I couldn't get them to take it off me.

So, you know, things like that are an issue. And one of the clients I'm working with now, they don't have access to the, to the, like the business partner page that was originally set up for their page. And everyone that's been added into this role since then has just been added by their own personal pages.

But then we have no idea who actually owns the business partner and there's two paid agencies on there that don't, haven't worked with them for a long time that potentially have access to like things like that, that are such sensitive information that is also the now causing massive problems for us to try and figure out where the hell this all sits, how to get it back, how to figure out an interim plan to save all this potential information.

It's, it's so messy and so scary and like just knowing who's got access to what is so important to know. It's so important. It's ridiculous.

Rosie: You think that there would be just one email right at the start that has like a unique code or whatever that you can pull, but fall back on if anything kind of went to shit, but no.

No, there

Emily: isn't, no, no support system through Facebook. It's just ridiculous.

Rah: Which is why they have the paid system.

Emily: Yeah.

Rah: You meant to get more support if you start paying, yeah, for that BlueTick.

Emily: I

Rosie: did but you don't, though. It's not that high.

Rah: One of my clients paid for the BlueTick and like and she's a known personality and she still has issues getting support when.

There are copies of her account being made on Facebook and Instagram, and it still comes back as going, Oh no, they're clearly not a copy. It is. Oh my God. Yep. It's a hot mess. Hot mess. Total hot mess. I love that expression. Hot mess.

Rosie: So good. It's a hot

Christine: mess. Okay, Rosie, I've got a question for you. Alrighty.

What was your why? As in, you know, why did you create and start your business? Well, so my why

Rosie: evolved after I'd created it. And I think this is important for everybody to work out two levels of why. So when I started it, I wanted to just do something that, um, I was basically, I'm still very young, so I was about 25 when I started.

I had to pause and pose. Um,

Rah: and doing it for the gram for M, the people listening at home, M's taking a photo of us in our virtual studio. So we all stopped and started posing.

Rosie: Cause we're all a bunch of poses, which, um, so when I started, it was more because I wanted to have some sort of control, something that was mine because I was working in, um, a government funded health community It was just constant take, take, taking that, you know, without just taking away people's abilities to just get jobs done, they were making it harder for everybody.

There was constant funding issues. It was constant, you know, working with client ratio issues. And as someone in the mid twenties, I was, I got to the point where I said to the managers above me, I was middle management. And I just said, I just can't be your messenger anymore. I can't be telling people constantly what we're taking, um, instead of giving, which is what I came in here to do.

And so, and I'd had so much experience working with computers and found that very easy and very natural. So I just started to create it myself, just so that I could go, um, and have that control back. I think it wasn't a huge thing to start it off for me because I didn't have to worry about, You know, I was, I was a boomerang child.

I'd actually moved back in with my dad at that point. He worked for himself as well. And so we were both just running a business each from home, which was really, really lovely. And I didn't have huge financial commitments. I didn't have children underfoot. Um, so it was pretty, pretty sweet, pretty sweet deal.

Good time to start. Um, and of course, you know, at that age, you don't know what you don't know. So you're going to go in there and just do all the things. And then you learn the hard way, so, which I think is fantastic. Um, it's, it's painful for everybody else, but good for you if you're willing to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep on going and learn from things.

And then as a few years into it, I realized I wasn't really quite sure what my why was. I have a lot of people who come to me now and say they do it for their kids and they do it for their freedom and flexibility and whatnot. And I'm like, And I, I do it, I do remember when I was working, you know, that feeling, you know, when you were out of the office, when you're driving for me, it was in my black Datsun 200B on a sunny day and I wasn't in the office, that feeling of freedom.

Yeah. I realized down the window manually. Oh yeah, everything was manual pretty much, no foot, no, no flooring and you had your feet down on the ground running for it Flintstones style like it was, it was one of those cars. But, um, I realized after a few years that I had the ability to experience that any day I wanted.

And so to me, that meant that I had already succeeded. So, and you know, if I want to go to the hairdressers, so, you know, and look as gorgeous as you, the lovely girls who had your hair done. I'm on, I'm going in on Friday. I don't have to tell anybody. I don't have to request time off. I don't have to say I'm not going to be in the office or whatever it might be.

To me, that was my definition of success. So I then needed a bigger reason why, because that was already hugely satisfying, but I could have just sort of sat back and not done much with that. So everything that I do now is based on the question, does it improve the situation for Australian virtual assistants?

Does it improve their reputation? Does it improve their experience? And does it help them empower themselves? So everything that I do is based on whether it helps me achieve that. And if it doesn't, I don't do it. And if it does, then I do. And so my big why in business around why I do the things I do in business is around that.

But the reason why I wanna keep working in business and working for myself is because I, I don't want my wings clipped and I don't wanna have to have, you know, requesting permission to do things, because as I said earlier, I will not be told . So I love that.

Christine: I

Rosie: love it. Yeah, I like that freedom.

Christine: I, I like that point about, you know, having a, a why when you get in and needing to re-look at your why.

Yeah. Kind of got me thinking, yes, I've got the why I got into it. And yes, it was around about my son, um, and reinventing myself, but yeah, and I know I've got a, a why I'm doing it now and why I'm doing it for my future, but I don't think about it in those terms. So it's actually really good to rethink that.

And then I agree.

Emily: Like I, I love the whole, like. Not having to report where you are to do what you want, and I think that's a big one for me, too, is being able to just juggle the things that I need to juggle when I need to juggle them and not have to feel like I've got someone breathing down my neck and reporting my every single movement to everything.

Like the micromanaging piece is such a, I cannot, I cannot stand it. It does my head in. At

Rosie: the end of the day, we always choose who we're working with now. We always choose. And that is so empowering and that is so valuable, even if you're not making huge money, if you've got people trying to tell you, you need to be making, you know, six figures or five figures a month or whatever it might be, you know, at the end of the day.

Are you choosing who you actually spend your, your time with? Are you choosing who you support? Are you making it so that you have time and if you've gotten what your kids look like, like, and you actually want to know what they look like. So all of these choices around balance and freedom, I've always put a huge financial value on that.

And I go, that is worth. You know, this amount per year to me mentally, physically, emotionally. And then my income is, I don't tell the tax agents that cause they tax me out there at Wazoo. But my actual income. Is like obviously needed, but in terms of my success, I see it as on top of that. Cause that freedom is my asset.

Yeah. It's true though. It really is.

Emily: Very true. Yeah. Nicely put. Very nicely put. Yeah. I feel like. You know, we, we all get bogged down with the, Oh my God, we need to be making. And the cost of life is just so expensive nowadays as well. So we overload ourselves drastically, but I think you're right. We should actually put more value on the ability to be, you know, my son's still at home with me right now because he's still on school holidays today, finishes tomorrow, and like to be out at his best.

Be here and not have to pay extra money and have him just be happily pottering around home and Playing the PlayStation or whatever and not have to worry about putting him in after school care or dragging him into an office that he doesn't Want to go to even though he's totally fine when we go to our office, but it's by choice again So it's not like we're mandated to do it kind of thing.

It's you kind of can't put a price On that, I don't think. Kind of leads to the next question, which I feel like is always a fun question for people. What do you think your business, what has your biggest challenge been in your business in this lovely journey?

Rosie: I think, um, learning that people will come and go has been a really hard one.

You know, you have, um, I, I, I tend to just assume everybody's going to be my best buddy now. We're all going to be fine and everything's going to be fine. Um, and it doesn't always work out that way. And I think when you're in business, you will meet more people than you've ever met before. Then you, as opposed to when, depending on your job, but as opposed to a normal sort of business support type job.

That would be the alternative for most of us. Um, the number of people that we meet and that we need to trust and to collaborate with and to learn from is huge. And so the risk of them, you know, not necessarily being aligned with your values is obviously going to be higher. And so it can be really hard when those things kind of rear their ugly head and you find out that, um, Not every person that you encounter is going to be, um, you know, smooth sailing in terms of that friendship or relationship.

And, um, I, I'm not really great at, you know, getting over that kind of thing. I think that's been really, really hard for me over the years is, um, the, the relationships that don't work out in business.

Emily: You and I are so similar. It's exactly, exactly what I'm like as well. That stuff cuts deep and I hold onto it more than I ever should.

And then I find it very hard to get let go as well. Yeah,

Rosie: massively. And, and I know I shouldn't, um, and you know, and you get annoyed and you get angry and you, you do, but at the end of the day, you just get hurt. And, you know, like at the end of the day, it always takes two to tango. Obviously, both didn't work out well for whatever reason, you know, it's never completely on somebody else, but it's still, yeah, that's the hardest thing I think, because, um, yeah, it would be nice if everybody was like, I mean, the people that are in my circle at the moment, um, I absolutely love, they're amazing.

They bring me so much joy, but at the end of the day, we all change and we all evolve. And I cannot rely on that to be a constant.

Christine: No, and we've all got to evolve and change. We can't stay the same forever.

Rah: Please don't let me stay the same. Oh my God. I can't think of anything worse.

Christine: No, no, no. I'm very happy to be the person I am today that's so much better than the person I was, you know, 10, 15 years ago when, you know, meeting so many people and, you know.

And, and yes, learning to let go, learning to get let go of clients and, um, and putting, you know, like lines in the sand and not getting all too depressed and stressed and, and everything. But it's a journey and it, and it takes time and it takes practice. So you've got to be letting go a lot of people throughout your business journey, don't you?

To feel more comfortable. And it's not that you're ever going to be comfortable. It's just that it's an easy. Um, you just

Rosie: can't hold on to the people that are the wrong fit for you. You can't. No, not at all. And that is, it's funny because that's one of, as we just said before, we always choose who's going to be in our space now and that's one of the privileges, but it's also one of the hard things because then sometimes you've got to make this choice or as you said, be let go of.

So you're either letting go of them or they just go, actually, I think you suck and I'm going to let you go. Okay. Thanks. And not everyone can handle the level of awesome we all put out there. I

Emily: have a t shirt that literally says, if I'm too much, go find less.

Rosie: It's funny, even just saying that is a filter. There's going to be people that go, Oh God, she's so up and stuff. I can't handle her. So it doesn't matter what you say.

Rah: It becomes a self qualifying process. Yeah, because if you, if you are who you are, it's going to pre qualify people and they're not even going to be looking at talking to you to work with you if they think you're too much.

Rosie: Which is why I think it's hard when people do come in and then that pre, that qualifier, it's like a post qualifier. stuff happens, you know, things happen and, and then it falls apart. That's way harder. I'm actually totally cool with someone right up front being like, yeah, you're not my sort of person. And I'm like, okay, that's cool.

Um, but when you've created that friendship or that relationship, and then we go, hang on a sec, you're actually not right for me either. That's yeah. As Emma was saying, that cuts a bit harder and, and you've got to keep working through that. As I said, 20 years, it's going to be a lot of relationships. It's there and you can get to a point where you think, okay, um, maybe this is all too hard.

And, you know, you definitely go through periods of time. That's probably the other thing is the, the biggest challenge is surviving those periods of time when you want to give up and they will hit you every other year, I reckon. So yeah. Yeah.

Emily: Yeah. And you've got to fight through it. And it's hard to, I think, you know, those things, the ones that cut deep, I know for me have been.

Relationships where I feel like I've, like, I'm a natural giver of a human. Most people who know me well enough know that I'm like Santa Claus. I love to gift people things. I come from a very, I guess it's almost a bit superficial, but like from a family, like my mom, my mom's a big gift off. So she like, that's how she shows love.

You know, it's, it's not actually how I want to receive love, but it's how I've been programmed to show affection or love to other people. And when I, you know, I'm one of those people that I will usually be all in. And I know I need to kind of bring that back a bit and try not to be so all in because I do get hurt a lot.

My husband's witnessed so much of that in our entire relationship. And, you know, I, there will be times where, you know, I have gone all in. I've, I always will be that person that tries to help out or whatever, whatever. And then it's, Get to the point where next minute it's like, Oh, well, I'm actually being completely taken advantage of and I'm being burnt really hard.

And it's, I don't like that too. And that's where I find that hurts me more than most as well, because it's like, but then I have to remind myself, I'm making that choice to put myself out there that much as well. And to be so giving and, you know, I got to stop that to stop the hurt so much as well. So it's a tricky one, but you're right.

Like you find the point in which like, I feel like right now. Touch wood I'm not jinxing this by saying this out loud, that I've got a fabulous like, everyone in my life and in my world is just Perfect. Like the P they're just such perfect people. Everything is just so lovely. I have not felt like yeah.

Flick that hair off.

And like, you know, like it's I feel like I've taken a long while to get to this point, but I feel like I'm, I am exactly where I'm meant to be with the people I have around me as well. Touch wood, touch wood. I know people come and go, but like these people need to stay or I'll hunt you down. No. Um, you know, so it's, it's, I feel like we've been through it, like, especially Chris and I we've, we've been through, even from a client perspective, those ones that you've realized you have to take that leap and you know, you know, in your core, they're not aligned to who you are and what we want to achieve in our business, but it's that scary part of.

making that decision to cut the ties and how to do that in a way that's not confrontational as well. And you know, same thing with Chris and I, with how we wanted to like even pivot the way our business is, we're calling ourselves and what we're, who we want to associate with too. We've done a lot of thought process on that I think in the last six to eight months.

Probably longer and really decided. Because we're almost freaking eight months in this year, about a year. And then, um, really kind of thought about how we want to align ourselves to, and what works, and who we, we do feel really connected with, and, and who we don't, and in that kind of method. So we've, it's a lot of thought process, but it's scary because, you know, we're both traditional people pleasers, so that makes it uncomfortable.

Rosie: Yeah, a lot of people doing this sort of work are. They're, they, they wanna be helping people out and solving things and being people pleasers. And so to then talk to them, um, about boundaries, um, can make them feel Yeah, like, ah, it's been uncomfortable. Oh

Christine: yeah. Boundaries. That's my word of the year.

Rosie: Well, um, as you know, um, Amberfield and I have a different podcast and most of our topics end up coming back around to boundaries because we get questions and they always end up being related in some way to boundary breach.

Christine: Yeah, they certainly are, you know, like a lot of people balance is the thing, but that comes back to it. So I agree with you, Rosie. It's actually. Almost like the, the bouncing off point, or everything else that you need, um, comes back to, um, yes, personal and professional, uh, business boundaries, for sure. Yeah.

You know your shit. Um, you've been around the blocks a couple of times. I want to know where

Rosie: the apostrophe sat in that sentence. So just, so.

Emily: Yeah, you're talking to the woman who's like main thing is grammar and and all the way in which she words

Christine: as well You know your shit exclamation mark

What um, what would be one piece of advice that you Would like to share with other women, um, who are looking to start their own business? Question mark.

Rosie: Um, I think it'd be a combination of embrace the fact that there is heaps that you don't know that you don't know. Yeah. And pop yourself comfortably into spaces where there are people who know what you don't know and are happy to provide you with that advice. Without taking it like, um, like it's a bad or terrifying thing.

I do see some people who, who come into the business world and then because everybody else around them has answers, the thing is everyone has questions too. But because everyone has answers, they freak out and think, I don't know. I don't know enough. And I don't know what I don't know. And then I'm going to leave, right?

We all start like that. I started like that. Thank God, yes. Yeah. And the thing is, you've got to just take it day by day and just start figuring it out. And if you can be surrounded by people who are happy to share with you what they've learned, you'll find the reward for that will be that you end up being one of the ones who starts giving answers to other people and asking those more complicated questions because you'll never stop asking questions.

So get comfortable with asking questions. Um, but also with doing research and with being around people and being so excited about being around other people who know stuff that you don't know. I love how much the people in my space, in my group, No, that I don't know. And sometimes they'll be having conversations and discussions around, you know, certain software programs, for example, where I just zone out.

Cause I'm like, I don't know that. And I know I don't want to know that. And I'm so thrilled. Like it's, it sounds awful. Like I'm stepping away in, you know, like in like, I don't want that. No, I'm going to step back, but I am so excited and happy that they know that and that they're sharing that.

Christine: Yeah, no, I love it.

And cause as we all know, it takes a little, um, it's a confidence booster, but it takes a little bit of confidence and bravery to then value add to these spaces. Doesn't it? Yeah. Um, and so. Being in those spaces and listening and learning is, uh, uh, and, and not quite questioning is very valuable when you get started.

Yeah. I think it's also too, like,

Emily: I, I've, I've found that there's, you can get people that get very threatened if you know what you know, and it's like, I, the whole concept of being threatened of people is something I've, I find like, irritating beyond belief, but also really fascinating. Cause it's like the smart person would be like, if you feel threatened, then like become that person's best friend and like, figure out how they think, learn from them.

You know, there's obviously something there that is pinging and just because they know the, like the questions to the answers or have, you know, that knowledge that seems to be more, it does not mean that. You don't know it either. It just means that they have a different perspective of it as well. Like so many of us do similar services and have similar skillsets, but it doesn't mean that like, you know, Rara and I talk constantly and I swear to God I learn something every single time I'm in this physical space as this woman.

And it's just always like every time it's like amazing the shit we can kind of come up with because we just having conversations on this and that and whatever.

Rah: And I've also taught you how to make font noises with a paper straw.

Emily: Yeah. A lot of photographic evidence for that one. Yeah. Um, but you know, like it's, it's that, like, I love it.

It's like, it's, it's less threatened, more collaborated. Like I'd feel like I'm the least threatened human being I'd try to be at least on the, on the planet. Like, cause I see opportunity as opposed to threat.

Rosie: Yeah. And that's a superpower.

Emily: Yeah. Yeah. I'd like to think it is, but it's, it's, uh, that would be kind of go without, like, it's not, not every, not one person's got all the answers.

Rosie: No, no, no, that's what I think happens to people. They'll go into a group. So like virtually yours, they'll go in there and they'll see all these answers coming at them, but it's a little piece of advice from each person. So collectively they know heaps. Individually, they know a lot, and so, and some of them are new like you, and they know very little.

And it all balances out in the wash, and at the end of the day, the whole point of them sharing is because it's such a gift, and they're sharing these answers, so I find it crazy that you wouldn't just suck that right up. The whole point of that is to bring you up,

Emily: not to push you down. It's learn, to learn, and to ever evolve from that, you know?

Yeah, you know. Yeah. If you're not willing

Rosie: to learn and keep learning and, and be okay with not always being the smartest in the room, then you'll do well. Yep. Exactly. Yep.

Emily: Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep.

Rosie: My biggest woo-hoo moment, um, I think was, um, was it last year when, um, business in A Box?

Is that what it is? Um, included my book, the Outsourcing Secret, and they bought into their boxes and I, I cannot tell you how excited I was. I was so excited. That was crazy. But I've had heaps of really, like it can be. Stuff from, you know, having a mentee who gets, you know, their ideal client, you know, weeks after we've spoken all the way through to launching a new course to, you know, running an online conference because my, my conference, it was supposed to be face to face and you need to tell everyone about your one.

Was, um, was canceled thanks to COVID, but, um, then coming back and running it online was, you know, that was awesome. But I think for me, the thing that just blew me away the most was that someone had that much faith in my book and, um, and purchased that many copies. That was, that was amazing.

Emily: Yeah. Thank you.

Links to everything in our, um, show notes. I'm actually thinking we need to start a bit of a website page that's all about where people can find the resources that we talk about.

Christine: Yeah, I agree with you there. That's the development piece. That's a great idea. Continuous improvement. Yes. That's also great for an SEO.

All the ideas. Just quietly. Okay, Rosie, I have a Pandora's box full of all the things that you have lost in your life up until this point in time, memories, people, animals, whatever. Um, what would be the one thing that you actually would like to pick out of that box?

Rosie: One of my favorite expressions is, of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

So I would, I would dig deep into that box for my sanity. I

Emily: mean, you might have to do pretty deep, that's fantastic.

Christine: Yeah. Okay. Where can we find you?

Rosie: www. virtuallyyours. com. au has all my stuff.

Christine: Excellent. Thank you. Thank you so much for joining us in this virtual podcasting studio today. Thank you

Emily: for

Rosie: having me.

I've had a blast.

Emily: We might need to actually get you back for like 2. 0 for some other topics. Yes.

Rosie: Yes,

Emily: please.

Rosie: I'm up for that. Yes.

Emily: That's it for today's episode and thank you very much to the lovely Rosie from Virtually Yours, love it, great conversation, we're here in our virtual podcasting studio. Uh, thank you everyone for listening, if you enjoyed this episode please leave us a review, share it with your friends, share it with people that aren't friends, just share it with everyone.

Um, check out our show notes for any references from today's episode and the links to follow and we'll catch you all later. Bye! Bye! Bye! Yay!

Bye! Bye!